Peter Larsen has been the Pop Culture Reporter for the Orange County Register since 2004, finally achieving the neat trick of getting paid to report and write about the stuff he's obsessed about pretty much all his life. The whole thing ends in a corny music video-like montage of the wives performing the song titled “Whatever I Want,” which seems kind of like the perfect motto for how a housewife lives her life. The title on screen as she makes the other wives lineup on a stage in her backyard is Thunder Storms, though her boyfriend John refers to her as something else entirely thanks to the tight corset vest and revealing pirate blouse she’s wearing. Shannon’s character is harder to pin down.
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We see Noella getting dressed as Jimi Hendrix at home, during which she picks up her toy guitar prop and has a brainstorm: “Hey, Siri, can you Google how to set a guitar on fire?” Heather is enlisted to help pull this off and she calls upon her friend singer-songwriter Richard Marx, who helpfully sends a track he and his wife Daisy Fuentes had written a few years earlier.Įveryone shows up in rock outfits – Gina as Gwen Stefani, Jen Armstrong as Pamela Anderson, Heather as Posh Spice, and Emily as Carmen Electra. She wants the housewives to perform a song for the guests, because of course she does. Shannon is the host of this one, and she’s decided to throw a rock and roll costume party. The season wraps with one of those ridiculous parties the housewives love to throw. She looks great in a white gown and Shane surprises her with a first-ever engagement ring, a new wedding band to replace the one she lost, and a bonus band for sticking with him for 13 years. “When I’m really angry with him, I order Taco Bell and have a $1,500 bottle,” she tells the poor man who really just wants to sell Heather an expensive bottle of Montrachet.īack home in Orange County, there’s a nice moment when Emily and her husband Shane get dressed up for the photos they never had a chance to take when they got married 13 years earlier at 10 p.m. They fail, of course, mostly when Noella discusses her relationship heartache as a conversation point with the sommelier. That night, at the final dinner of the trip, everyone tries to make nice. Noella Bergener had skipped the shopping to instead stay back at Housewives Manor for a private session with a coach who waved sage smoke all over her and gave her “root chakras” a once-over.
The Real Housewives of Orange County: Nearly naked in Shannon’s pool.Real Housewives of Orange County: The exorcism of Gina.Real Housewives of Orange County: Champagne and tears, IVs and oxygen tanks.
Real Housewives of Orange County: It’s ‘high school with wrinkles’.Gina cries, Shannon hugs her, it’s all over as soon as the snow flurries outside in Aspen. Midway through all that Shannon starts to shout, “I’ve never had a core two! Never had a core two!” “It was a core two, then a core four, then core five, then core four.” “Your core whatever, how many number they are, that pivots as well,” she tells Shannon in a sentence my eighth-grade grammar teacher would not be able to diagram. Gina, or the tommyknocker controlling her, shakes her head. “I said it went from a core five to a core four. “How dare you!” Shannon shouts over the ringing up of one of the other housewives’ purchase of $1,336.74 of new clothes. Everyone but Noella Bergener goes shopping, the lowlight of which involves Gina and Shannon arguing in the boutique over how many friends Shannon has in her core friend group. Let’s make this legal!”Īspen wraps up quickly after that. “If she wants to make a contract with the tommyknockers so that they don’t inhabit her body, I’m all for it.
“I like contracts, I’m an attorney,” she said. Emily, in a confessional, gave this joining of the mortal and immortal her legal blessings.